Reflections...I wrote this 5 years ago... 🤪


I have so many writing from years ago... Again been to nervous to put up... But I can't be holding anymore xxx


Wise words. Recently I've started to really look into the way I see, speak, and hear things.  I have been brought up on various religions over the years and have a lot of respect for and openness to all. I have always been a seeker, always intrigued by new ways of looking at life and seeing whether, in some way, one of these would help me through hard times.  A crystal, the way my bed faced, waning moon, waxing moon, mercury in retrograde, star signs… how was any of that going to affect me? The way the birds flew, a spider in my room, a hummingbird - did any of it mean anything?

I know that the mind is very powerful, that dreams can become reality and that i have glimpses of magical phenomenon when I’m tuned in with my intuition.

After a lot of soul searching for four decades, I have come to believe that it’s simple.  I just wanted happiness and joy.  I didn't want fear, anger, or loneliness.  To me, these are some of the evils that I have to avoid with our seeing, speaking, and hearing.

what do I?

How was I supposed to retrain my mind which seems programmed to perceive things in a certain way?  I have no profound treatment that I’ve hooked onto. I consider myself extremely open and free-spirited. Sure, I love humanity, animals, the environment, nature but how does this really translate and guide my perspective?

I didn't get it!! I really didn't get it!! I thought I did. The ideas, the affirmations I read or put up for some comfort, and I can recognize what I think is right and wrong, but did i live it? Was it rooted in me? Forget what I see, speak and hear… what do I THINK? Why was my mind always wanting to go to the fear factor of “what if…?” all the time.

I live in a constant state of ..WHAT IF…  I started to listen to what other people in different cultures were saying, learnt some of their ways, remedies. Most important their philosophy on life. It took me a long time to hear the simplicity of what they all spoke of .. happiness, joy. OK sounds simple right?

The one tool I needed was my mind and that had to get reconditioned …reprogrammed, Into a completely different way of manifesting action. KEYWORD…NOT analyzing too much …. ACTION! LIVING!

How do i align my actions with my intentions…I would feel glimmers of connection between the 2 threads, be completely excited and then I would lose the thread.  Be unable to understand and articulate it.

It was like smelling a familiar scent, holding onto it and trying to place to it and remember what the memories were that holds that scent..  …i got it!!! i got it !! .. and then it slips away leaving you frustrated and unconnected.

So how was i going to retrain my mind to let go of old patterns and live in my own honesty of who I am?  To live with a perception of the process of living life. I want to live the next phase of my life with positivity and not fear driven. I would run the feed on social media and in seconds it would bring me down. So maybe had to start there… what was i filling ” MY FEED ” up with … time to unfollow…

2 TOOLS daily for me

AHHH bliss!! To find my tools… now clearly I had been doing this for quite some time. After meeting with an amazing yogi Sadhguru. At Isha in India during Tour of Beauty is where I really acknowledged the fact that I needed to find my tools, and that is where I decided, for now, this is what is working for me. They will probably change but I need these for me right now:

  1. Meditation.. calming, centering. It connects me to the simplicity of me and just connecting me with the energies that are me THAT ARE ALL REALLY INCLUSIVENESS. In the stillness of mediation the anxiety, loneliness, fear would dissolve . the unity of all living energies breathing at the same time was what happen …MOMENTS OF BLISS … the honesty of who I AM.

2. LISTEN. many times as much as I'm a good listener… I now stop myself take a breathe waiting until the person has finished. I find during that

2. Yoga. For me i get clarity. Also, i get amazing creative ideas during practice. Yoga is very different from when i first started over 12 years ago. First I meant weight loss,  fitness, recovery for my back issues, after like i said 10 years, i am now understanding the meaning of YOGA  …. in SANSKRIT …UNITY

So, in general, have good thoughts, feel empathic towards people …

in the last few months i have put my new ”FEED ” into action … old thoughts I push aside. There is a calmness in this that i don't get caught into drama, self-doubt and negative fear-based thoughts. Look I'm human and defiantly have moments, day to day decisions and bills to pay. Life shit sometimes. but i have a good 30 years maybe more and i will LIVE those years the fullest.

It's our choice to think differently